The next Fast and the Furious should just be two hours of a guy doing steroids inside of a Nissan Cube.
Hey, companies. No one has their confirmation number. You’re the company, you do the work.
I’ve never not silently said, “Of course.” after finding out someone I’ve been talking to owns a ferret.
Yes, America’s the fattest nation on earth but that also means we’re the funniest when falling off bicycles.
Anybody actually know what the fuck is supposed to happen in gazebos?
Someone just left me a voicemail. Can’t wait to get around to listening to it in 3 weeks.
Piñatas are a great way to realize that every child would slit your fucking throat for a bag of Skittles.
I’ve never said “thank you” to a waiter less than 15 times throughout the course of a meal.
Delaware and now Minnesota. At this rate, I believe one day gay people will be able to marry in a state they actually find appealing.
I love restaurants that have signs like “Since 1916”. It’s a great way to know the place you’re eating at was probably super racist.
Congrats to Miley Cyrus for being #1 on Maxim’s Hot 100. Also, congrats to Billy Ray Cyrus for apparently being the new editor of Maxim.
With Jodi Arias being found guilty, I can’t help but think how rock hard Nancy Grace’s penis must be right now.
Delaware legalizing gay marriage is a huge step in reminding us that there’s a Delaware.
One day Ke$ha will run out of words that rhyme with beer and it’ll be all over.