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MY DAILY MONOLOGUE JOKES
Mar 25th
16 year old Justin Bieber performed on the Late Show with David Letterman the other night. This was the first time Justin has stayed up past 10pm without having to put a plate of cookies and milk near the fireplace.
Many people are saying that the new Obama health care reform bill is hard to understand and too confusing. Obama responded by saying that this is the last time he lets legislation be drafted by the writers of Lost.
BEA ARTHUR, MOUNTAINS, PIZZA
Mar 20th
It’s exactly what it says, and visiting the website won’t make it any more clear as to what the hell this is about. Prepare to get weird…
LADY SINGS ON A CRUISE SHIP
Mar 19th
I’m not a cruise-ship type of person — meaning I don’t own a subscription to Today’s Grandparent magazine, and I’m not taking medication for a “going problem” that may actually be a sign of a “growing problem”. What I’m getting at is that cruise-ships are mostly for the elder members of our society. However, this performance below is actually starting to convince me that cruise-ship living can’t be all that bad, and I may have to get in on it. Wait around until 1:25 and enjoy…
BETWEEN TWO FERNS – BEN STILLER
Mar 17th
VANS: NOT JUST FOR PERVERTS NOW
Mar 11th
The classic American van — No longer only appreciated by the murderous sociopathic perverts that drive them. When you see one of these beauties on the road you may think, “Well, this is an ‘amber alert’ waiting to happen.”, or if you have the pleasure of driving behind one, “Wow, the Rocky Mountains have never looked so majestic!” Sadly, more and more people are ditching their old vans, complete with captain chair seating, for newer cars with better mileage. Where would we be without old crappy vans from the 80′s? Think of all the crap bands that wouldn’t have made it to some crap venue to play music off of their latest crap album.*
Well, luckily these vans will live on forever in photos courtesy of photographer Joe Stevens. Joe has created a website to honor the great American van. It’s awesome. (note: there are no less than two “Ram Vans” on this site.)
*- Not taking into account the epic “Van Break Down of ’06″ when Ravenswood, Ohio metal band Pandora’s Rox 1988 Ford Econoline broke down on a busy highway. Which led disgruntled bassist Hank Donovan to utter the phrase, “real fuckin’ bummer, man.” four times in one hour.**
**- Not a true story, made that up.
