MY MONOLOGUE JOKES FOR TODAY
Today is Jesse James 41st birthday. Jesse celebrated by throwing away a really good-looking cake and eating a really nasty-looking cake instead.

This is also the one day a year where he doesn’t get in trouble for having his cake and eating it too.
The Pope gave victims of the sex abuse scandal assurances of the church’s action. Wait, isn’t church action what got everyone in trouble in the first place?
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