MY DAILY MONOLOGUE JOKES
Mar 25th
16 year old Justin Bieber performed on the Late Show with David Letterman the other night. This was the first time Justin has stayed up past 10pm without having to put a plate of cookies and milk near the fireplace.
Many people are saying that the new Obama health care reform bill is hard to understand and too confusing. Obama responded by saying that this is the last time he lets legislation be drafted by the writers of Lost.
ME ON E!
Mar 25th
Hey guys. I’m very excited about this. I’ll be filling in as a co-host on E!’s The Daily 10 later on today. Why you ask? Because I’m just so darn good at hosting TV shows that count backwards from ten.
MY DAILY MONOLOGUE JOKES
Mar 24th
I love reading the news everyday so I figured I would read the news and write some jokes nearly everyday for the next month…
-JWOWW of Jersey Shore fame has signed a deal to write a “guido guide” on how to achieve a fake-tanned, muscled-up, party-hard lifestyle. This marks the first time a book has been written by someone who has never actually opened a book.
-Republicans this week accused President Obama of trying to jam health care reform down the throats of the American people. Which is easy to do as long as you offer it with unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks.
“IS THIS REAL LIFE?!?!”
Mar 24th
If I may quote that great American wordsmith “David After Dentist”….
NIGHT OF 140 TWEETS OUT TODAY!
Mar 22nd
A show I was in with Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell, Sarah Silverman, Dave Holmes, Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer and many more comedy folks is out today. Night of 140 Tweets is on amazon. ALL proceeds go to help re-build schools in Haiti.
CLICK HERE to buy. And if charity isn’t enough to lure you in, perhaps the opportunity to see a fully nude grown man will get you to buy it.
