The Fahey Chronicles
When I see a girl under the age of 25 texting, I think, "So nice she's taking a break from photographing her face."
4 hours ago
It would take me being quarantined for Ebola to finally watch an internet video longer than 2 minutes.
6 hours ago
is such a badass.
7 hours ago
No one's understood a thing Matthew McConaughey's said since 2010.
2 days ago
My version of a haunted house is hitting yes when an ATM asks me if I'd like to see my balance.
3 days ago
Don't forget to post terrible stuff everyone already knew about Christopher Columbus while acting like you're blowing the lid off Watergate.
I scrolled past "Malala Wins Nobel Peace Prize" to click on "Horse Walks Into Police Station". I'm Damien Fahey and I'm part of the problem.
Writer's block for Jimmy Buffett is probably just him trying to think of more words that rhyme with sand.
Everyone voted and we all agree that the underscore in your Twitter handle is the reason no one takes you seriously.
Burger King: "Because there's no food at the next 6 rest stops."
Photos of a beautiful man
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