The Fahey Chronicles
Just sending out a giant fuck you to the person who decided the music on an iPhone should lower every time you get a text.
12 hours ago
When someone tells you to always give 100% remind them that Subway is only giving like 20 and they're super successful.
Before going to the gym, Google "Arnold Schwarzenegger shirtless 2014", click "Images" and stay home instead.
2 days ago
That Johnny Cash song "I've Been Everywhere" is the first and last time anyone's ever bragged about visiting Sioux City.
3 days ago
A girl today called for her dog by yelling, "Selfie!". No joke here. Just pointing out this is where we are now as a society.
The Masters, Coachella and Mad Men all happening on the same day is like a solar eclipse for white people.
I just clicked on a YouTube video that didn't have an ad before it and now I feel like it's my fucking birthday.
Pre-Coachella To-Do List: 1. Pack a big, stupid hat 2. That's it
I'm waiting for the episode of COSMOS where it's explained how a black guy is named Neil.
I'm guessing working at the Huffington Post is mostly finding clips from The Daily Show and looking up synonyms for the word "destroys".
Photos of a beautiful man
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