The Fahey Chronicles
Uh-oh. Your tenth smartest friend is posting inspirational quotes again.
10 hours ago
If you hear, “He never had a bad word to say about anybody”, you're at a boring guy's funeral.
If FOX is looking for an O'Reilly replacement, I'd just like to say I've hosted TV before and am too shy to even look most women in the eye.
Marriage is mostly hearing a muffled, “Remember, we have that thing tonight” through a wall.
Kinda had it with the "Thanks for all the birthday love! You guys rock!" Facebook people.
Fucking heartbreaking to see a restaurant just now start using Mason jars for glasses.
Jared Kushner's the kinda guy who yells, "Play Kokomo!" at a Beach Boys concert.
Oh great. The person who took twelve minutes in the restaurant bathroom was a sweaty chef who clearly just took a shit.
If you're an elderly person eating, don't even think about not having a chunk of food stuck to your face throughout the entire meal.
Band of Brooks Brothers
The Gist – A better way to barely read the news
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PARIS WHAT’S-HER-NAME FROM 2004 SIGNS RECORD DEAL WITH HIP HOP LABEL
GREEK YOGURT MAY DESTROY THE ENVIRONMENT AS BADLY AS GREEK ECONOMIC POLICIES DESTROYED GREECE
FOX COMMITS TO 12 NEW EPISODES OF KIEFER SUTHERLAND SWEATING,
PISTOL WHIPPING, SHOUTING “DAMMIT, THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME!”
TORONTO PITCHER RELEASED FROM HOSPITAL AFTER BASEBALL UNINTENTIONALLY CHARGES MOUND
WORLD’S FIRST WEBSITE HARKENS BACK TO SIMPLER TIME WHEN SEXY SINGLES COULD NOT BE FOUND IN YOUR AREA
NETFLIX ERASES 1,800 CLASSIC FILMS WHILE ‘TREMORS 3’ STILL AVAILABLE TO STREAM 24/7
COMPANY RESPONSIBLE FOR SPICE GIRLS CURRENTLY DOING MORE SPACE TRAVEL THAN NASA
EA SPORTS JOINS UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN IN PROFITING FROM DENARD ROBINSON’S LIKENESS
OSCAR WINNING ACTRESS, SINGER, AUTHOR, PHILANTHROPIST TOPS GIRLFRIEND PUNCHER IN MOST HATED CELEBRITY POLL
ADORABLE PUBLIC THINKS CUTE LITTLE PETITION WILL SWAY GIANT MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION’S FINANCIAL INTERESTS
$500 MILLION WRIGLEY UPGRADE TO LET CUBS FANS WATCH .400 BALL IN STYLE
ATHLETIC APPAREL COMPANY DECIDES 300-POUND MUSICIAN NO LONGER REPRESENTS ITS VALUES
U.S Justice System applied to rich white guy
968,000 people in year 2013 pay for album
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