The Fahey Chronicles
Sarah Huckabee Sanders looks like every woman eating lobster on a cruise ship.
Hi, I’m your home. Welcome back from vacation. Now unlock the door, step inside and be horrified with how the inside of me actually smells.
Sean Hannity looks like the kinda guy waitresses do nervous silent nods to each other about when he enters a steakhouse.
After putting on the sixth necklace everyday, I bet Johnny Depp kinda regrets committing so hard to always looking like that.
Adults need an app that alerts us when we are being secretly photographed in public by mean teenagers.
No one's ever driven a Corolla faster than 45 mph.
“Mr. Fahey is next” “Mr. Comey, my colleague is wheeling in a hoop. Can you dunk this basketball for us?” *dunks* “Sick. That’s all I have."
Scary thought: Someone somewhere has video of you dancing at a concert.
My Untuckit shirt lets women at the bar know I’m going to become an issue around midnight.
Whenever I see someone asleep on a plane I think, "Wow. That's how they're going to look when they're dead."
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Damien Fahey © 2017. All Rights Reserved.
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